Living Away From Home for the First Time

Leaves are falling, there's a chill in the air, the lineup at the bookstore is 45 minutes long which means that school is well on it's way for University students.  For first years the beginning of the school year can also mean living away from home for the first time and that can be both intimidating and scary.  I've been living apart from my parents for four years now and these are some things I've learned along the way.

Budget Your Groceries

I didn't realize until I was in charge of my own food just how expensive groceries can be; that paired with the sudden ability to buy whatever you want can be dangerous.  To avoid getting overwhelmed plan what you're going to eat beforehand so you know what you need to buy before you get to the store.  Check what's on special to save money as well especially when it comes to meat!

Don't Be a Hermit

Living on your own for the first time (or even with roommates) can be scary and it can also be lonely especially if you've moved away from your hometown.  As lonely as it can be I've found that loneliness is only amplified by staying inside all the time.  Even if you don't have a lot of people to hang out with just going for a walk outside or to the mall or something can make it all feel a little bit better.  I can't count the number of times that one small outing (even if I was still alone) turned my day around but sitting alone on the couch has almost never made me feel better.

Clean Up After Yourself

You will never appreciate all the work your mom does to keep the house neat and clean until suddenly you have to do it all yourself.  Hard as it is I've found that I do feel better when things are neater.  At the very least do the dishes, do your laundry, and don't forget to wash your sheets every so often.

Most of all I would say enjoy it; it can be fun to figure everything out on your own and to decorate a new place, it's a new adventure that you get to do on your own for the first time and if you need help your parents are only a phone call away (seriously call you parents, they miss you).

Mini Update and Work Stress

Oh hey there, it's been a while.  If I'm being completely honest I've been finding this whole working and training very overwhelming lately so any time I've had at home (and it's been very limited) I have spent sleeping or sprawled out on the couch getting caught up on the many TV shows I watch.

Since I last blogged I've been to Salt Lake City where I raced the first competition of the season (just for fun it didn't count for anything) and then I came back to Calgary and worked 6 evenings straight.  So for 6 days I trained all day and then worked until 10pm and on the 7th day I left for Ottawa for a visit to see friends, family, and to spend some time at my cottage.  The visit was short and sweet but a much needed break from my day to day routine and of course it was nice to see family and friends that I hadn't seen in a very long time.

Then after my nice trip home I came back and worked 4 evenings straight, great.  Adding school into the mix life became very stressful.  As of right now I'm a little stressed out and sick (because apparently I'm always sick) but I'm managing to balance it all (just barely) I'm just hoping that if something goes south it's anything but skating.

Being an Athlete is Hard

I've recently started a new part-time job which means that I've been meeting a lot of new people and explaining to new people that I'm a speed skater and basically a full-time athlete.  A lot of people don't really think anything of it, some people think it's really cool and I think that most people don't really understand it.  Most people think that the fact that I speed skate is interesting, that it's unique and then "speed skater" becomes my identifier.  When I was younger I liked being different, I liked that speed skating was so ingrained with who I was and I liked the lifestyle I got to live because of it.  Lately however, I've become a little disillusioned with the whole thing.

These days skating is hard work.  I'm no longer skating just for fun like I did when I was younger I'm training with a purpose, to attain a certain result and a lot of the time it can be a lot of work with no reward.  The only time that people outside of the sport are aware of speed skating is during the Olympics so I often get asked "oh, you speed skate? Does that mean you're you going to the Olympics?" But the thing is only five girls get to go to the Olympics.  That means that there might be twenty other girls who also put in the work, who committed to training for the four years leading up to the Olympics, who put in all the work but ultimately it will be for nothing.

Don't get me wrong I like skating, I know that I can walk away at any time and I knew what I was getting into when I started taking training seriously.  I have good days and bad days; today just happens to be a bad one.  I just find it difficult to balance "real life" (school, work, social) with skating life and I feel stuck, and bored.  Normal people my age have an undergrad degree, they're figuring out what they want to do, they're getting their own apartments and moving out on their own and starting second degrees.  They're going out with friends and making new friends and trying to support themselves and moving around the world, traveling, and making mistakes.  Meanwhile I'll be continuing my third year of my English degree in my fifth year of university, I'll continue to depend on my parents to survive, the only traveling I'll be doing is to Quebec for other skating meets and I won't have time to make new friends because any time that I'm not skating, training or working I'll probably be sleeping.  I feel like everyone else my age is moving on and starting new chapters in their lives and I'm still stuck on the same page.  I'm just stagnant, putting the rest of my life on hold until I'm done skating and then I'll be able to deal with it.

I feel like I'm an athlete half the time and a student then other half.  I get OK grades and OK results but I can't help thinking that if I was just one thing I could be more successful and feel less stagnant.  I don't want to quit skating but if I'm being completely honest I've been doing the same thing day-in and day-out for three years and on my bad days I feel exceptionally bored with my whole life.

Basically my life is super hard and I'm having a bad mental day and I want to do something with my life and everyone should feel sorry for me.

annnnd a little motivation to keep me going because new training block starts tomorrow

The Final Push

I know I told you that new post day would be Saturday and to be fair I did start writing this post on Saturday.  The original post was going to be about the run up to last trials, the 'final push' as it were, it was an upbeat, light post with little substance.  On Saturday that was honestly how I felt; light and upbeat and even excited about competing again since it has been so long since the first trials before Christmas.  I'm still excited about going to Vancouver because I'll get to see my parents and even a little bit about racing because that is the fun part of skating but I'm also feeling very stressed, worried, and overwhelmed.

If you keep up with this blog you might be aware that I had the flu a few weeks ago and I missed over a week of training and a weekend of racing.  I'm back training full time now but I feel like I'm still recovering and I feel tired most of the time and slow.  Even as I write this I haven't done anything all day (it's our day off) and I still feel like I'm only half awake.  I worry that I might be getting sick again and I'm struggling with doing both school and skating this year so I worry about my marks.  For me at this moment skating takes precedent; I don't want to go into National Team Trials feeling underprepared or feeling like I didn't do everything possible to succeed but I think I would feel a lot better if one thing was going well instead of struggling with both.

I know deep down that this one competition isn't the most important thing in the world and that once skating ends this month I'll probably have time to turn my school marks around but it doesn't mean I don't worry.

I need a job so I can afford a vacation.

(picture found on Pinterest)

How to Study for Exams

1. Get out all your books/notes
2. Do laundry
3. Go on the internet while you wait for your clothes to wash (hey! that tab of research materials is open that's practically studying right?)
4. Clean your room, can't study in clutter 
5. Clean the kitchen ... again, clutter, it's so distracting 
6. Bake cookies (I suggest regular chocolate chip cookies with half Reese chips that's what I made and I'm OBSESSED)
7. Open file containing notes on laptop
8. Watch seven hours of YouTube videos
9. Try to decide if you have enough time to read that book before the exam or if you should read the sparks notes, do neither, take a shower and actually blow-dry your hair for once instead
10. OH SHIT THE EXAM'S TOMORROW WTF HAVE YOU BEEN DOING ALL WEEK STUDY AS MUCH AS YOU CAN IN THE NEXT TWELVE HOURS

Happy Finals Week!

P.S.

Some of my favourite studying songs here

A good Christmas studying playlist here

The cookie recipe I used here (minus walnuts with Reese chips for half the chocolate chips)

Only 15 days until Christmas, we can do this!

Someone sent me this and it seemed appropriate

Christmas Decorating! (Part One)

Today's post was supposed to be "November in Pictures" but with competing and school the only pictures I took this month were a selfie and a picture of a box of holiday Rice Krispies.

Since it's December 1st today me and the roomies decorated our condo for the holidays before we all go our separate ways (one of us to FISU games next week, the rest of us home to our families soon after).  It's hard being in Calgary sometimes, being away from family and friends, especially around holidays like Christmas or Thanksgiving so this year our Black Friday shopping consisted of decorations to make our place more home-y.  If you're away from home, stressed about exams, and feeling a little lonely a few little things can make everything better (well almost everything).

We bought a teeny tiny Christmas tree and some cheap ornaments at Target

A short string of lights and some seasonal foliage in a vase, ooh so fancy

Splurging on a nice smelling candle can make even the dingiest dorm room feel warm and cozy (also great when studying)

We also have one fancy wreath from HomeSense because we're classy like that

And with just a few cheap festive things that were (mostly) on sale we were able to Christmas-fy our little town house so obviously we had to have a little holiday photoshoot.

Aw look how much we love each other

Gazing at Herb the lovely picture we were gifted when we moved in

Christmas card worthy

The most adorable picture ever taken, we should probably have this framed

September/Student Athlete

We're pretty far into September now (and I don't know how that happened because I swear it was July like yesterday) and that means two things: 1. It's my birthday month and 2. It's back to school.

Now compared to most people I have a pretty light work load since I only take two classes a semester but when you factor in training twice a day, my excellent procrastination skills and my moderate dislike of schooling of any kind it's just another stress that I would rather not deal with.  These days I show up to class (sometimes late depending on skating) sit there, take my notes and then as soon as it's done I pack up and book it out of there either to go get something to eat or to go warm up for training.  I don't talk to anyone, I don't make friends.  I have spent many nights having various meltdowns over school (mostly over not wanting to go) but having no plans for the future and not doing post-secondary just doesn't make sense (and there is no way to make a living off speed skating ... why couldn't I be a male hockey player instead?)

I got a little off topic there but what I'm trying to get at is that most elite athletes have to juggle the stress of putting everything they have into their sport but also trying to get an education because when you stop competing the funding stops and you have to get on with your normal life.  Some athletes even have to juggle training, school and work because sport can be very expensive (I'm lucky enough that my parents are able to support me because it costs me more than I could ever make working part time to skate right now).

This PSA from CAN Fund explains it a lot better than I ever could: