I've always been small. It's just something I've always dealt with, I don't think I hit one hundred pounds until high school. From about 12 or 13 years old every year I went to the doctor for my checkup she would ask me this series of questions: "Do you eat meat? Do you eat vegetables? Do you snack in between meals?" She once asked my mom these questions to make sure I was telling the truth and I was also once asked "You're not making yourself throw up or anything are you?" I understand that the doctor had to ask me these question but it was still uncomfortable and couldn't help wondering if there was something wrong with me.
Growing up in the speed skating world I used to hate that I didn't look like everyone else. I was basically skin and bone wrapped in spandex. I didn't like how my legs didn't touch when I walked like all the faster skaters in my club and my mom had to custom make all my skin suits so that they would fit.
|Racing at 14 years old|
Right now I am happy with my body appearance-wise but even though I've always been fit it is not how I have always felt. I think that athletes can tend to have obsessive personalities because we are always trying to seek perfection in order to be the best. In the sport world I also think that it is much more common for people to comment on a person's size or to talk about weight. I can now look at my fat percentage number and not let it affect me too much because I know from experience that I can't skate as fast at 12% as I can at what I am now but I've also realized that it would probably be healthier for me not to memorize my thigh volume number and not to compare either of these things with other people. I now use these tests mostly just to make sure I am still going in the right direction. Is my thigh volume going up? No? What can I change so that it will? Did my fat percentage drop? Guess I better up the carbs at dinner.
|at trials in November (fotosports.ca)|
I would also encourage you to read this article about Clara Hughes and Gillian Carleton:
"Canada’s Olympians not exempt from depression and anxiety even with success"