That Time of the Year Again

It's that time of the year again; we're getting to the end of the season, a lot of the really hard training is done and the only thing left to do is race the final competition.  It's been a bit of an up and down season for me, a lot of it down, and in the middle of the season I struggled a little bit with motivation but (fingers crossed) I'm back on an upward swing.

Practice has been going better and I'm getting more confident again.  We did some practice races this weekend and although I wasn't 100% rested I'm feeling cautiously optimistic about the big competition in two weeks (and also really looking forward to the short break at the end of the season but gotta race first, think about that later).

For the next few weeks I will be trying not to worry how things go (harder than it sounds for me) and try to be confident that I've done all the hard work and that no matter what happens it's not the end of the world.

Why (I Think) Sports Are Important

I've been involved in sports since I was little.  I started speed skating somewhere around the age of 4, did recreational gymnastics (I was not very good or flexible), I played soccer (both rec and competitive) and I did soccer and cross-country running all through elementary school and high school.  While there are the obvious physical benefits to being involved in sports and in doing physical activity I've come to realize recently how beneficial it has been for me socially.

the last soccer team

I was a shy and somewhat anxious child, I've always been kind of a professional worrier, and even now I'm easily intimidated by other people.  Being involved in a sport or a member of a team where I was around the same group of people a few days a week forced me into social situations and because we were doing an activity there was always a common topic to talk about.

When I went to a different high school than all my friends joining the cross-country team put me a little more at ease and made me feel like I was involved in the school and not just floating invisibly through the hallways.  Although none of my best friends from high school ended up being in cross-country, meeting a lot of different people through the years of skating and playing soccer made me a little more comfortable to talk to people I didn't know because I'd been exposed to situations like that over and over.

Senior girls cross-country team 

More recently when I moved to Calgary for skating it was less terrifying than it could have been because I knew I was going to be around other skaters every day, even though I didn't know most of them, but I could calm myself down with the knowledge that I would be around people who were in the same situation as me so I was bound to get along with someone.  Travelling for skating and moving has even made me more confident going forward because I know that if I were to move somewhere else I would probably be able to find some other people to get along with (the idea of being isolated, friendless, and alone could have been enough to stop me from doing things/going places before).

Skating training camp, look at how many friends!

Based on the way that I react to some social situations still today I wonder if I hadn't always done sports and been on teams whether I would have ever been able to even leave home (also if I would even have any friends because I'm pretty sure I made a lot of my friends because I was good at gym class).

Injured and Frustrated

I've never considered myself to be one of those athletes that is constantly struggling with injuries, sure I've broken a leg here and there but breaks heal and then usually don't bother you once it's all healed up.  Since it doesn't happen to me super often I'm really bad at being injured.  Basically if I'm not put in a cast I think I should be fine and then I get really frustrated when I can't do things.

Before New Years I fell in practice and I've done something to my back.  At first it hurt to do anything (seriously anything if I even breathed too deeply I would be in pain) but now it feels almost normal when I'm just sitting around but as soon as I skate the pain comes back.  It's been really frustrating because even when a program is going well for me I might have to cut some of it out simply because my back will start hurting too much and I tend to play down injuries (I once told a coach I was fine and walked on a broken leg) so I keep skating until I can't anymore (not healthy I know).  

This has so far been a really frustrating and disappointing season and adding injury on top of all that is definitely not helping on the motivation side of things and I have to keep reminding myself that I'm not getting worse and I'm not a bad skater I'm injured and I need to let myself heal.

source: Pinterest

Just a mini update for this week because I wanted to put something up but didn't have the time to organize anything else.  My plan is to post something at the beginning/end of every week just to keep writing, keep my brain working and writing it out allows me to take a step back and look at skating/my life from the outside and re-evaluate things.  Hope you're having a great day, see you in a week or so!