Saturday, 17 August 2013

And We're Back!

Over the last few months I've been having some problems on ice.  I kept thinking I was just tired and I would get some rest and I would come out the other side and feel better, I kept thinking I was getting sick but then would never actually get a full on illness.  I felt like I was skating through a fog.  I would wake up and feel tired, go to ice and feel tired, go to bed exhausted and repeat.  Instead of enjoying training I was just trying to get through it, just trying to survive it.  I wasn't enjoying myself and was emotional on ice and couldn't figure out why.

It wasn't until the last two days when I started feeling like myself on ice again that I realized I hadn't  felt like myself for a long time.  I hadn't been pulling off passes for fun in practice, I hadn't been challenging myself, I was just trying to survive and counting down the days until the next rest week.  I don't know who that person on ice was but she wasn't the same me from last season and she wasn't someone that I liked very much.  I don't think she was someone that my teammates found easy to deal with either and I often felt isolated and lonely at practice.

I don't know if it was being on ice with my old coach that reminded me of my "I can do anything" attitude from last season or coming to the realization that I have to base my successes off my own talents instead of comparing them to others but the past two practices I felt like I woke back up.  I skated all my laps and more in the last on-ice program of the week, I can't even remember the last time I did that!  My training partner even said she thought to herself "she's back."  I was almost giddy on my bike ride home because practice had been hard but it had been fun, something that it hadn't been in a very long time and I was finally able to feel proud of how I had handled a practice again.  Fingers crossed I can keep this feeling going as we head towards our first competition of the season next weekend.

Here have a picture of me and my sister racing last season (I won)

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