The Final Push

I know I told you that new post day would be Saturday and to be fair I did start writing this post on Saturday.  The original post was going to be about the run up to last trials, the 'final push' as it were, it was an upbeat, light post with little substance.  On Saturday that was honestly how I felt; light and upbeat and even excited about competing again since it has been so long since the first trials before Christmas.  I'm still excited about going to Vancouver because I'll get to see my parents and even a little bit about racing because that is the fun part of skating but I'm also feeling very stressed, worried, and overwhelmed.

If you keep up with this blog you might be aware that I had the flu a few weeks ago and I missed over a week of training and a weekend of racing.  I'm back training full time now but I feel like I'm still recovering and I feel tired most of the time and slow.  Even as I write this I haven't done anything all day (it's our day off) and I still feel like I'm only half awake.  I worry that I might be getting sick again and I'm struggling with doing both school and skating this year so I worry about my marks.  For me at this moment skating takes precedent; I don't want to go into National Team Trials feeling underprepared or feeling like I didn't do everything possible to succeed but I think I would feel a lot better if one thing was going well instead of struggling with both.

I know deep down that this one competition isn't the most important thing in the world and that once skating ends this month I'll probably have time to turn my school marks around but it doesn't mean I don't worry.

I need a job so I can afford a vacation.

(picture found on Pinterest)